Toshiyori no Fuji
by yukuro
Summary: Fuji, with his excellent English, really doesn't like it when drunks call him old. Or in this case, older than Tezuka. He really isn't older than Tezuka. Really.


**Disclaimer:** I wonder if this is necessary for every piece…

**Note:** When referring to "English class" in the preceding story, it's referring to the actual language. Let's not all forget our dear Tenipuri boys are Japanese!

**Toshiyori no Fuji?!**  
  
by: yukuro

Silence.

No one was sure if it was an awkward silence or stunned silence. All that was computing was the oh-so painfully obvious mistake that had just been blurted out. Although, Tezuka was rather used to this common mistake, it seemed to have been a new experience for Fuji Syusuke.

"…what did you just say?" Fuji asked with forced politeness, his smile twitching slightly.

Damn those school uniform jackets. He just _happened_ to decide not to wear his jacket today to go along with Tezuka, and then _this_ happened. If he were only wearing his uniform jacket, none of this would have happened. He really had no reason to blame the jackets, but…damn school jackets.

"I said," the random drunk man they met on the sidewalk repeated in hiccups, "Where are you two teachers taking all these boys here?"

Fuji's smile strained awkwardly and his eyebrow twitched once. "That's what I thought you said."

"As the older one," the man slurred and hiccupped, pointing at Fuji with a drunken expression, "you should be more responsible. And I can tell you're the older one," the man went on sloppily, "b'cause your hair's lighter than that guy's."

The Regulars stared at Fuji's back with eyes quite possibly the size of saucers, waiting for a reaction.

"I feel so bad for him," Kikumaru muttered slowly to Momoshiro and Echizen who stood quietly at his side. His wide, cat-like blue eyes never budged from Fuji.

"Yeah, I don't think Fuji-senpai looks old at all," Momoshiro replied without thought to the redhead, his eyes similarly never moving from Fuji's back. "He must feel insulted."

"Fuji?" The redhead blinked a few times. "I was talking about the drunk guy."

"I don't even want to know," Echizen stated in a monotone before pulling the brim of his hat lower. Spotting a drink machine about half a block back, the first year Regular went towards the machine with a swift one-hand wave. "I'm going to go buy a Ponta."

"Knowing Fuji, things could get violent," Inui said, making a note in his notebook. The sunlight glinted off his glasses, making the other Regulars squint. "It may be better if Echizen left."

"…" Tezuka said as he usually did when he noticed the dangerous expression Fuji had on his face. Clearing his throat to get the man's attention, he began politely, "We're not teachers…"

"Time for an English lesson with Fuji Syusuke," Fuji cut in suddenly, nearly making the other Regulars jump with his abnormally cheerful sounding voice.

Tezuka glanced to his side where Fuji stood. "Fuji…"

"Repeat after me," Fuji said with a wide smile, completely ignoring Tezuka. In more or less perfectly fluent English, he said, "Tezuka is older than Fuji."

The drunken man blinked and squinted at Fuji's face.

"Repeat after me," Fuji said in English again, slightly louder, "Tezuka is _older_ than Fuji!"

"Mou… I failed English class in high school, sensei!" the man exclaimed with a sloppy grin, with a drunken laugh.

"Repeat after me: Tezuka is _older_ than Fuji."

"What's he saying?" Momoshiro asked with wide eyes, leaning over towards Kaidoh.

"I hate English," Kaidoh hissed back.

The other Regulars turned to face Kawamura questioningly.

"W-What?" Kawamura asked the others with wide eyes, holding his hands up in defense.

"You're the one who's always blurting out English phrases, Taka-san!" Kikumaru pointed out, with his wide cat eyes. "What's Fuji saying?"

"I-I don't know!" Kawamura squeaked.

The Regulars then turned to Inui expectantly.

Inui frowned at them. Coughing slightly, he adjusted his glasses before pointing out, "Just because I'm good at collecting data doesn't mean I'm fluent in all the languages of the world."

"Repeat after me: Tezuka is _older_ than Fuji!"

The Regulars winced as Fuji's voice grew increasingly louder.

Momoshiro rubbed his head in frustration. "Kuso! Where's Echizen when we need him?! After all, it was that brat was the one lived in America before!"

Less than five feet away, the drunk was having an even worse time figuring out what the hell Fuji was saying. All he could do was stand there and stare blankly at the light-haired boy before him in confusion. In fact, he nearly split when sharp blue eyes appeared.

"Repeat after me: _Tezuka is **older** than Fuji!_"

Everyone else, including the poor, poor drunk man continued to stare at Fuji with lost expressions.

"Repeat after me," Fuji said again, his blue eyes narrowing dangerously and his lips still curved in an almost wicked smile, "Tezuka is _older_ than Fuji!"

The man took a few steps back.

"Repeat after me: Tezuka is older than Fuji!"

"Oh," Oishi said suddenly to the other Regulars, while swinging his bag around to unzip it. After a few moments of rummaging, he pulled out a small dictionary. "I forgot I had a dictionary."

The Regulars shot him similar looks of disbelief before snatching it away and crowding around it.

"Now let's see… 'repiito' then 'afuutaa…'"

"Repeat after me," Fuji said almost sickeningly pleasantly, as the man continued to back away. "Tezuka is _older_ than Fuji!"

The man dashed away without a second thought, tripping over his own feet as he went.

The moment the man ran down the street, Echizen walked up from behind, casually sipping his Ponta. Overhearing what Fuji had said, he said carelessly, "'Boku ato de repiito: Tezuka wa Fuji yori toshiue da.'"

Everyone's heads, minus Fuji's, suddenly snapped in Echizen's direction. The first year continued to sip his Ponta without a single clue as to what happened. After hearing the translation, the Regulars exchanged glances.

"Ooooh…"

…

"Wait," Momoshiro interjected, blinking slightly. "_Really_?"

Fuji suddenly turned around with an evil glint in his eyes. "Time for an English lesson with Fuji Syusuke…"

No one would ever dare say Fuji was old again.

Owari.

(Wasurenai ne! Tezuka wa Fuji yori toshiue da yo! XD)

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**A/N:** This is kind of based on the "Right By Your Side" voice message by Kaida-san (Fuji). For some reason, I kept cracking up after listening to it. x) This is the result of my listening to that single about 20 times or so. Anyway, I get that the joke would probably a heck of a lot more amusing in Japanese, but…well, hey! I shall continue to amuse the English crowd because why would I want to get shot down in two languages of fandoms? XD

Thanks for reading!

**Translation:**

"toshiyori no Fuji" – old Fuji

"wasurenai ne" – don't forget!

"boku ato de repiito: Tezuka wa Fuji yori toshiue da" – repeat after me: Tezuka is older than Fuji (Lol. The favorite sentence of this fic)


End file.
